As the band Frou Frou beautifully expressed in their song Let Go, I learned that there is beauty in the breakdown. The experience of burnout taught me valuable lessons and revealed blessings and gifts I never would have considered otherwise.
I vividly remember the day in 2020 when I found myself sitting in my doctor's office, uncontrollably sobbing.
It was the culmination of years of trying to reach perfection in every aspect of my life while juggling the responsibilities of being a mother, a career woman, and taking care of my mental and physical health.
The pressure to constantly strive for more had taken its toll on me, yet I felt an overwhelming sense of urgency and pressure to keep doing more.
Maybe then I would feel valuable.
Like many other women, I had bought into the subtle deception that we must work harder, longer, and always put the demands of others ahead of our own in order to be successful. But I didn't realise how harmful and unsustainable this way of living was until it was too late.
My emotions were so intense that I had trouble expressing what was wrong, and it was my doctor's simple question of how I was doing that triggered a flood of tears.
Looking back over the past four years, I can see how much of an impact they had on me.
I had gone back to work just a week after giving birth to my second daughter in 2017, and then eighteen months later, while on maternity leave, I was out-of-the-blue retrenched. I thought starting a freelance marketing business was the answer, working long hours to support my family as the main breadwinner.
We subsequently lost a significant amount of money to an unscrupulous builder, and when the pandemic hit, most of my clients and income disappeared. It had all become too much.
It had caught up with me, and I was finished.
That breaking point in that doctor's office, was when I was diagnosed with depression and given an antidepressant prescription and a referral to a therapist. It was the beginning of my journey to rediscover who I was and why I was here.
With the help of my therapist and coach, I began to script the second act of my life. I left my marketing career behind, broke up with perfectionism, and started to restore my sanity. Making time for reflection helped me realise how far I had strayed from my life's purpose.
As the band Frou Frou beautifully expressed in their song Let Go, I learned that there is beauty in the breakdown. The experience of burnout taught me valuable lessons and revealed blessings and gifts I never would have considered otherwise.
I want other women out there who are struggling and questioning their purpose to know that they are not alone. Putting yourself first and asking for support when you need it are not signs of weakness. It is possible to break free from the chains of pressure and stress and find your way back to a richer, more fulfilling life.
Through this experience, I decided that I would take control of my life and design the life I wanted. This year, my fiancé and I packed up our belongings, sold everything and moved to the Philippines with the intention of world-schooling our kids and experiencing a more laid-back lifestyle. It was the fresh start that we desperately needed.
It's often in our most vulnerable moments that we find the strength to reach out for help to reclaim ourselves. This process is where we enter the next phase of our life, questioning all social norms, narratives and the systems at play. We get to decide no more!
There is beauty and power in that decision.
If this is resonating with you, book a call with me and we can discuss your specific situation. All calls are strictly confidential and I’ll provide a safe space for you to explore these feelings.
The road to recovery can be long and challenging, but with guidance, and a support system, it is possible to find your way back to a more fulfilling life. I know this because I did it myself.
Our new reimagined life in the Philippines. Follow our journey on Instagram at @fam5freedomadventure.
Comentários